We went to Ryan's open house last night. I spoke quickly with his teacher and she assured me that Ryan is doing really really well. He does have moments when he's a little riled up or when he's lost focus but he's very receptive to being redirected and calming down. She might have to redirect him 10 minutes later, but she said even that doesn't happen that often. And she said it's not all that unusual with 6/7 yo boys, in her (many) years of experience.
"He's all boy, that's for sure!"
"He's friendly with everyone in the class, he talks to everyone, will play with anyone."
"He's very cheerful and happy."
Good things to hear about your child!!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Ryan is doing so well at school, it's almost like he's a different child. Another week has gone by, and it was another week of "green" days. I'm just amazed, but at the same time waiting for something to happen. It seems like every year in October he starts to go a little nuts...it happened in 2006 and in 2007. He really likes his class and his teachers, and he has so many little buddies. I've watched him in action with them during carpool and he's just so darn friendly, making sure he says goodbye to all of them, making sure he finished listening to whatever story they're telling him before he gets in the car (as annoying as that is to me, lol!), just all smiles and good cheer.
I like the work they are doing, too, especially the Everyday Math. I've heard a lot of moms complain about it (and maybe I will to in later grades) but so far it is such a creative way of looking at numbers that it's right up his alley. He has one page of homework every night, and he has not yet been reluctant to do it. And he's very cooperative at home as well. He still has his moments, but his anger is pretty short lived, as if he's mentally reigning himself in. School Open House is tomorrow and we're looking forward to it!
I met with his new psychologist today...this one takes our insurance! She's glad that he's doing so well and wants to seem him every other week right now, and is hoping that we can anticipate the October crazies before they happen or at least get control of it right away. Which probably means that it won't happen at all! She's very nice, very personable and I think we'll do fine with her.
I like the work they are doing, too, especially the Everyday Math. I've heard a lot of moms complain about it (and maybe I will to in later grades) but so far it is such a creative way of looking at numbers that it's right up his alley. He has one page of homework every night, and he has not yet been reluctant to do it. And he's very cooperative at home as well. He still has his moments, but his anger is pretty short lived, as if he's mentally reigning himself in. School Open House is tomorrow and we're looking forward to it!
I met with his new psychologist today...this one takes our insurance! She's glad that he's doing so well and wants to seem him every other week right now, and is hoping that we can anticipate the October crazies before they happen or at least get control of it right away. Which probably means that it won't happen at all! She's very nice, very personable and I think we'll do fine with her.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Ryan is doing REALLY WELL in his new school!! I'm amazed at the difference. But I'm not sure if the difference is his behavior or in how his behavior is perceived. He's been in school for 8 days, and has 7 green days and one yellow day...and she's not being lenient at all. Ryan is happy, he is fully involved with the kids in his class and has made a couple of close buddies already. One of them I hear making sure he says "good bye" to Ryan whenever I pick him up. I emailed his teacher to make sure his green days were actually true green days and not "giving Ryan a feeling of success" green days, and here was her response:
I really do feel that at this point Ryan has made a good transition to our classroom. He does need an occasional reminder, but not any more than any other student that receives a "green dot". (I do need to change the note on the calendar - a green dot really is better reflected by "a few reminders, maybe 1 or 2" yellow dot -several reminders and red dot many reminders.) It really is not unusual for 6 or 7 year olds to need to be reminded of correct behavior from time to time. At this point Ryan has not needed to have different standards. His most difficult times seems to be during transitions- when we're cleaning up from one activity and starting another, and walking in the hallways. It is sometimes hard for him to keep his hands to himself. I'm very glad he and Vance have become friends and that he is enjoying school. Please don't hesitate to email me anytime!
YAY for Ryan! I was talking to a few moms at M&L's preschool, several of whom are planning to send their kids to StMM next year. In talking with them, it seems like many people are having the same kinds of (negative) interactions with the administration there that I did, or they've heard of such interactions being common. I think it all boils down to two people there...the principal and the resource director. I'm hoping that the principal retires soon, I've heard rumblings that he's acting as if he really wants to (but that could just be wishful thinking). For the first time in *years* they have unfilled student spots in several grades. They have almost always had an extensive waiting list but I'm guessing that word has gotten out about dealings with these administrators. It's quite a shame actually, because the teachers there and other administrators all seem so on-the-ball and caring.
I still have to decide if I'm going to send Max and Lily there. The only thing holding me back from ditching the school altogether is the thought of sending them to our public middle schools, which are a mess. I plan to put them through the admissions process at both StMM and the public school Ryan is going to, and then make my decision in the spring, rather than in January when they actually have registration.
I really do feel that at this point Ryan has made a good transition to our classroom. He does need an occasional reminder, but not any more than any other student that receives a "green dot". (I do need to change the note on the calendar - a green dot really is better reflected by "a few reminders, maybe 1 or 2" yellow dot -several reminders and red dot many reminders.) It really is not unusual for 6 or 7 year olds to need to be reminded of correct behavior from time to time. At this point Ryan has not needed to have different standards. His most difficult times seems to be during transitions- when we're cleaning up from one activity and starting another, and walking in the hallways. It is sometimes hard for him to keep his hands to himself. I'm very glad he and Vance have become friends and that he is enjoying school. Please don't hesitate to email me anytime!
YAY for Ryan! I was talking to a few moms at M&L's preschool, several of whom are planning to send their kids to StMM next year. In talking with them, it seems like many people are having the same kinds of (negative) interactions with the administration there that I did, or they've heard of such interactions being common. I think it all boils down to two people there...the principal and the resource director. I'm hoping that the principal retires soon, I've heard rumblings that he's acting as if he really wants to (but that could just be wishful thinking). For the first time in *years* they have unfilled student spots in several grades. They have almost always had an extensive waiting list but I'm guessing that word has gotten out about dealings with these administrators. It's quite a shame actually, because the teachers there and other administrators all seem so on-the-ball and caring.
I still have to decide if I'm going to send Max and Lily there. The only thing holding me back from ditching the school altogether is the thought of sending them to our public middle schools, which are a mess. I plan to put them through the admissions process at both StMM and the public school Ryan is going to, and then make my decision in the spring, rather than in January when they actually have registration.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Relief
I think Ryan is in the right school, with the right teacher and the right assistance. FINALLY. I felt such relief after we had our assessment report meeting today. Right off the bat I could tell that things were different here because they referred to Ryan as very bright, happy, confident and eager to learn. At his school last year, he was referred to as "impulsive, aggressive, defiant, inattentive, but yes, he's very smart.".
First, his teacher. Mrs H is kind, calm, *compassionate* and as sweet as can be. She doesn't see him as a problem at all. And instead of being befuddled by his little quirks, she saw right through to the reasons why he does/says/acts as he does. Right away today she saw that he hadn't finished his work along with the other kids, but instead of reminding him over and over to finish up, she asked him if he needed more time, she saw that he was distraught over not getting the picture colored and let him know that the coloring wasn't important at all if it wasn't his "thing" (it was a writing exercise). She said she gave him a choice to take the time he needed to finish it if he wanted to (she recognizes that he has some perfectionist qualities and also that he might need to sense of accomplishment from completing it to his own satisfaction) or not worrying about the coloring part and moving on with the rest of the class. This is on day 3! She could only sit in the meeting for about half the time, but she made sure that I knew she would keep in close contact with me and that I was not to worry about Ryan *at all*.
Second, the first thing the school counselor said to me when we sat down (and again as we were leaving) was how glad they were to have Ryan at this school. She knows him on sight, and was telling me a couple of things about how he was getting along with certain kids during carpool the last couple of days. She (and everyone else at the table) was amazed at how well he has acclimated in just the 3 days he has been there.
Third, his report. No speech, hearing or language problems at all (not even pragmatics). No big OT issues, aside from fine motor delay which we were already aware of. They do not believe that he has ADHD, although he does have some issues with impulsiveness and some issues with seeming inattentiveness or lack of focus...but they think that has to do with his fine motor delay (more on that later) and this -----> Their consensus is that his weak spot is processing speed, which means that it takes him longer for paper-and-pencil tasks. This can be so frustrating for a very bright child, not being able to "spit out" the information that he KNOWS in the same amount of time that other kids are able to. This, combined with his fine motor problems...namely, not able to form letters and numbers easily...makes doing writing tasks pretty difficult and not at all fun for him, so it's likely that he loses focus because it's too hard. He does also have some social "delays", mostly in the areas of respecting personal space and keeping his hands to himself.
The plan...he will in fact have an IEP. I honestly didn't think that he would qualify for anything, but I am thrilled that he does. He's not eligible under the Autism heading (which is what his old school was SURE he would receive services for)...in fact, none of these folks think Ryan has Asperger's at all. Sure he's a bit quirky in an area or two that might be common in Asperger's kids, but in the biggest areas, he doesn't fit at all. As an aside, I am almost sure that the rating scales his old school filled out were based on their assumption that he did have Asperger's...they had things on there that I have never ever seen in Ryan, such as a "very evident" monotone speaking voice and "rarely" making eye contact. Not *my* Ryan! Anyway, they have him eligible under "Developmental Delay - social-emotional development". They said that "developmental delay" is kind of a catch-all category for kids up to age 9, for a variety of delays that they can work on and catch up to their peers eventually.
So what Ryan will receive is one hour every day, time with an ECE teacher. She will spend 30 minutes with him in his classroom, and then pull him out for 30 minutes when they will work on handwriting and social skills. They also have a variety of "accommodations" for him in the classroom, basically check lists, prompts and cues, reinforcing behaviors and shortening assignments/copying from the board, etc.
I felt absolutely no defensiveness or negativity at this meeting at all. Everyone there was interested in making sure that I was on board with this before proceeding. I didn't come away from this feeling like there was something wrong with Ryan, or that he was a problem for them. I felt encouraged and like they were going to take such good care of him and that they were personally invested in making sure he is successful.
What a relief.
First, his teacher. Mrs H is kind, calm, *compassionate* and as sweet as can be. She doesn't see him as a problem at all. And instead of being befuddled by his little quirks, she saw right through to the reasons why he does/says/acts as he does. Right away today she saw that he hadn't finished his work along with the other kids, but instead of reminding him over and over to finish up, she asked him if he needed more time, she saw that he was distraught over not getting the picture colored and let him know that the coloring wasn't important at all if it wasn't his "thing" (it was a writing exercise). She said she gave him a choice to take the time he needed to finish it if he wanted to (she recognizes that he has some perfectionist qualities and also that he might need to sense of accomplishment from completing it to his own satisfaction) or not worrying about the coloring part and moving on with the rest of the class. This is on day 3! She could only sit in the meeting for about half the time, but she made sure that I knew she would keep in close contact with me and that I was not to worry about Ryan *at all*.
Second, the first thing the school counselor said to me when we sat down (and again as we were leaving) was how glad they were to have Ryan at this school. She knows him on sight, and was telling me a couple of things about how he was getting along with certain kids during carpool the last couple of days. She (and everyone else at the table) was amazed at how well he has acclimated in just the 3 days he has been there.
Third, his report. No speech, hearing or language problems at all (not even pragmatics). No big OT issues, aside from fine motor delay which we were already aware of. They do not believe that he has ADHD, although he does have some issues with impulsiveness and some issues with seeming inattentiveness or lack of focus...but they think that has to do with his fine motor delay (more on that later) and this -----> Their consensus is that his weak spot is processing speed, which means that it takes him longer for paper-and-pencil tasks. This can be so frustrating for a very bright child, not being able to "spit out" the information that he KNOWS in the same amount of time that other kids are able to. This, combined with his fine motor problems...namely, not able to form letters and numbers easily...makes doing writing tasks pretty difficult and not at all fun for him, so it's likely that he loses focus because it's too hard. He does also have some social "delays", mostly in the areas of respecting personal space and keeping his hands to himself.
The plan...he will in fact have an IEP. I honestly didn't think that he would qualify for anything, but I am thrilled that he does. He's not eligible under the Autism heading (which is what his old school was SURE he would receive services for)...in fact, none of these folks think Ryan has Asperger's at all. Sure he's a bit quirky in an area or two that might be common in Asperger's kids, but in the biggest areas, he doesn't fit at all. As an aside, I am almost sure that the rating scales his old school filled out were based on their assumption that he did have Asperger's...they had things on there that I have never ever seen in Ryan, such as a "very evident" monotone speaking voice and "rarely" making eye contact. Not *my* Ryan! Anyway, they have him eligible under "Developmental Delay - social-emotional development". They said that "developmental delay" is kind of a catch-all category for kids up to age 9, for a variety of delays that they can work on and catch up to their peers eventually.
So what Ryan will receive is one hour every day, time with an ECE teacher. She will spend 30 minutes with him in his classroom, and then pull him out for 30 minutes when they will work on handwriting and social skills. They also have a variety of "accommodations" for him in the classroom, basically check lists, prompts and cues, reinforcing behaviors and shortening assignments/copying from the board, etc.
I felt absolutely no defensiveness or negativity at this meeting at all. Everyone there was interested in making sure that I was on board with this before proceeding. I didn't come away from this feeling like there was something wrong with Ryan, or that he was a problem for them. I felt encouraged and like they were going to take such good care of him and that they were personally invested in making sure he is successful.
What a relief.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
We've finished the evaluations by our public school system. The consensus there is...they don't think he has Asperger's at all. Soooo....our OT doesn't think he has it, the 4 professionals who evaluated him for the school system don't think he has it, his dad and I don't think he has it, his pediatrician doesn't think he has it...but one psychologist says he does. After reading the Misdiagnosed book, I really think he is a very gifted child who suffers from some social problems. I don't think it's a case of the school system not wanting to give him that dx so they don't have to serve him...because regardless of the label, he's not delayed enough to receive services anyway. And regardless of the label, he's eligible for some of their social skills groups anyway. Same with the sensory stuff...which I do believe he has...they don't see any signs of it, but looking through is OT chart, whatever he was having problems with wouldn't have made him eligible for services anyway. So there we are.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Disney!
So, we just spent a full 7 days in Orlando. It was wild! We had a great time, but it was anything but restful or relaxing, lol.
First off, we stayed at Sheraton Vistana Resort, which is mostly a timeshare location but they also rent by the night/week. We had a 2-bedroom villa, with 2 full baths, a full kitchen, living room, dining area, screened in porch and right next to one of the pools (kid pool and hot tub too!). The master bedroom had a king bed in a good sized room, and that bathroom had a HUGE whirpool bath and separate shower, double sinks with granite counters and all tiled. The other bedroom had two queen beds, plus there was a queen sleeper in the family room. Three TV's! Kitchen had microwave, stove/oven, full fridge/freezer, dishwashwer and all amenities. Oh..I almost forgot...it had a (mini) washer and dryer too...so we only packed 3 sets of clothing each and one pr of PJ's..and we came home with all clean clothes in our suitcases!! It was a GREAT place to stay with kids, I'd highly recommend it. The only negative part is the pressure to attend a "sales presentation", but you can avoid answering the phone and not deal with that! Here's what it's like:
http://www.starwoodvacationownership.com/sheraton_vistana_resort/photos.jsp
If you page down to the "Springs Villas", that was exactly where we stayed and it looks exactly like our rooms! And it was reasonably priced, I think we had a special that was $158 per night, which is much less than we'd have paid to stay just about anywhere else with 6 people. It was just about 10 minutes door to door to the Disney parks too. We'd typically have breakfast at the villa, then pickup lunch on the way back from the parks, and then eat dinner out.
The place was huge, too. There are 7 pools there, plus a mini-golf setup and rec rooms all over. An adults-only exercise room, a food market, even a Starbucks! It's gated, too, and you have to have a parking pass to get into the resort plus they ask for ID after 8pm, so we felt very safe. We will definitely stay there again if we ever head back to Orlando!
I'll be posting more about the trip later...
First off, we stayed at Sheraton Vistana Resort, which is mostly a timeshare location but they also rent by the night/week. We had a 2-bedroom villa, with 2 full baths, a full kitchen, living room, dining area, screened in porch and right next to one of the pools (kid pool and hot tub too!). The master bedroom had a king bed in a good sized room, and that bathroom had a HUGE whirpool bath and separate shower, double sinks with granite counters and all tiled. The other bedroom had two queen beds, plus there was a queen sleeper in the family room. Three TV's! Kitchen had microwave, stove/oven, full fridge/freezer, dishwashwer and all amenities. Oh..I almost forgot...it had a (mini) washer and dryer too...so we only packed 3 sets of clothing each and one pr of PJ's..and we came home with all clean clothes in our suitcases!! It was a GREAT place to stay with kids, I'd highly recommend it. The only negative part is the pressure to attend a "sales presentation", but you can avoid answering the phone and not deal with that! Here's what it's like:
http://www.starwoodvacationownership.com/sheraton_vistana_resort/photos.jsp
If you page down to the "Springs Villas", that was exactly where we stayed and it looks exactly like our rooms! And it was reasonably priced, I think we had a special that was $158 per night, which is much less than we'd have paid to stay just about anywhere else with 6 people. It was just about 10 minutes door to door to the Disney parks too. We'd typically have breakfast at the villa, then pickup lunch on the way back from the parks, and then eat dinner out.
The place was huge, too. There are 7 pools there, plus a mini-golf setup and rec rooms all over. An adults-only exercise room, a food market, even a Starbucks! It's gated, too, and you have to have a parking pass to get into the resort plus they ask for ID after 8pm, so we felt very safe. We will definitely stay there again if we ever head back to Orlando!
I'll be posting more about the trip later...
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Update...
The public school assessment ball is rolling. Ryan had a speech/language assessment yesterday and an OT assessment today. The speech person said she got what she needed from him, that he scored well and we'd talk more about it during the final meeting. The OT said that she sees no sign of sensory issues with him now...which is HUGE. She said his posture is good, he has good core strength and his fine motor skills are age appropriate. So he has come a long way since September with his weekly OT! I took that info back to his personal OT and she said she's been considering releasing us...so she did! He's done with OT for the time being, and we can start back up in the fall once we see how he handles being back in school. DH said that he's noticed that Ryan doesn't seem to bump into people/things anymore and we've both noticed that he's less likely to use his hands and body to express himself. We briefly met the psychologist that will be doing his assessment and he is the sweetest, most compassionate man. He was on his way out of the building when the OT called him over and introduced us, he realized we were a part of his caseload so he chatted with me for a few minutes. Then the OT asked me a question, and the psychologist noticed Ryan playing with my keychain, and he sat down next to Ryan and just chatted away with him.
Oh, and another big thing...everyone who has assessed Ryan (besides his private psychologist) has highly questioned the Asperger's diagnosis. Even the psychologist today only spent a few minutes with Ryan in the hallway and said that while it is a hard thing to diagnose at this age, he just doesn't see it (although he was quick to point out that he hasn't spent enough time with Ryan yet and totally defers to his psychologist).
My child, the conundrum.
Oh, and another big thing...everyone who has assessed Ryan (besides his private psychologist) has highly questioned the Asperger's diagnosis. Even the psychologist today only spent a few minutes with Ryan in the hallway and said that while it is a hard thing to diagnose at this age, he just doesn't see it (although he was quick to point out that he hasn't spent enough time with Ryan yet and totally defers to his psychologist).
My child, the conundrum.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Update...
not much of an update, but here it is. We finally got the doctors to sign off on his food allergy and yeast overgrowth testing. We'll get that done in the next week or so, hopefully, but I don't know how long it will take to get the results.
I tried to get an appointment with the child psychology group that his OT recommends, but they aren't taking new patients until the end of summer. They take our insurance (our current one doesn't) so I was really looking forward to that bonus, plus they also hold social skills groups for boys his age periodically. I'm on the wait list so when they start taking new patients, they'll give me a call. We'll be heading back to the one we currently use, I guess.
Ryan's had some really big rages lately.
I tried to get an appointment with the child psychology group that his OT recommends, but they aren't taking new patients until the end of summer. They take our insurance (our current one doesn't) so I was really looking forward to that bonus, plus they also hold social skills groups for boys his age periodically. I'm on the wait list so when they start taking new patients, they'll give me a call. We'll be heading back to the one we currently use, I guess.
Ryan's had some really big rages lately.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Still around!
Ryan's been away from school for a little over a week, and I've gone from having no time to having NOOOO TIME. He's adjusted pretty well, he's really resilient like that. Nothing new to report. Took him off the dietary restrictions while we wait for his ped to OK several tests that might point us more closely to what his sensitivities might be. He's had some pretty wild days, but also some really good ones. We've determined that he was probably supposed to be an only child. We have so few problems with him when he's the only one around, he's like a totally different child. :-) He's finally learned to tie his shoes and of course promptly lost all interest in doing it. We're staying busy!
Friday, February 8, 2008
A Glimpse...
of how hard it can be to be the mom of a child like Ryan.
We went to McDonald's today, with the play area. We haven't been in a long time...well before Christmas. Ryan had had a good day so far, but I was still keeping a close eye on him...as close as I could with him crawling around in enclosed tubes. At about the 25 minute mark, I was searching for Ryan to check in on him (as I'd been doing every few minutes), and I noticed a girl crying and an angry looking mom. I found Ryan and as I was checking in with him, the mom came up to me and asked me if Ryan was my son. I said yes, and she angrily told me that Ryan had hit her daughter for no reason and made her cry. "She's just little, and he's obviously big enough to know better. " (For the record, her neice as it turned out, was nearly 5). I apologized profusely and explained to her that we would be leaving and that Ryan has Asperger's...and her very angry reply was that he shouldn't be allowed to play with other kids if that was the case.
Yeah, I know that I shouldn't care what other people think, but when faced with these kinds of comments I can't help NOT care. How can I NOT help but project these kinds of reactions onto other moms of kids that Ryan might hurt, when these comments aren't rare to begin with?
We went to McDonald's today, with the play area. We haven't been in a long time...well before Christmas. Ryan had had a good day so far, but I was still keeping a close eye on him...as close as I could with him crawling around in enclosed tubes. At about the 25 minute mark, I was searching for Ryan to check in on him (as I'd been doing every few minutes), and I noticed a girl crying and an angry looking mom. I found Ryan and as I was checking in with him, the mom came up to me and asked me if Ryan was my son. I said yes, and she angrily told me that Ryan had hit her daughter for no reason and made her cry. "She's just little, and he's obviously big enough to know better. " (For the record, her neice as it turned out, was nearly 5). I apologized profusely and explained to her that we would be leaving and that Ryan has Asperger's...and her very angry reply was that he shouldn't be allowed to play with other kids if that was the case.
Yeah, I know that I shouldn't care what other people think, but when faced with these kinds of comments I can't help NOT care. How can I NOT help but project these kinds of reactions onto other moms of kids that Ryan might hurt, when these comments aren't rare to begin with?
My heart is breaking. I have to pick up Ryan from school for the last time in a few minutes. I'm so sad. I've gotten a couple of very heart-felt emails from his teacher's aide and from a couple of moms, and they've had me in tears all morning. It was easier when I was just plain angry.
I just have to keep telling myself that I'm doing the right thing.
I just have to keep telling myself that I'm doing the right thing.
I didn't sleep last night. I'm doubting my self, as I always do. Are we doing the right thing? Isn't it better that Ryan not be in an environment where he is "failing" on a nearly daily basis? If something was going to work, wouldn't it have worked by now, nearly 2/3 of the way through the school year? But I'm pulling him from his friends. His teacher is "shocked" that we're pulling him out (although I guess it wouldn't be professional for her to say "relieved", huh?) I haven't heard anything from the administration yet.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
LOL...as soon as I posted that last post, I "got mail"...from his teacher who is "shocked" that we're pulling him out.
What cemented the decision? Two things. First, I get an email from the resource director who stated that it was time for us to review Ryan's notices of concern and decide whether he would be able to continue at StMM. I was told at the last meeting (before Christmas) that if the number of notices didn't diminish, he would not be able to stay. At that point, he'd had about 8 notices in 8 weeks. Right now? We're looking at 8 notices in 6 weeks (two this week alone). Writing on the wall?? So I started thinking what would be better for Ryan...Mom and Dad pulling him out because we feel like it just wasn't the right place for him, or the school deciding he couldn't continue there. So it was playing around in my mind, and knowing that they were going to make the decision tomorrow morning....it was playing around in my mind. Then, I went to pick up Ryan today. Every single day when I pick him up, no matter how bad a day he'd had, he would run down the steps and jump into my arms. Every. Single. Day. Today, he didn't do that. In fact, he came out the door and walked quietly down the steps with his head down. I greeted him as usual and asked him where my hug was...thinking he was just distracted by something. But no...he was sad because he'd gotten in trouble yet again at school and he told me that he would hug me when he felt better. He seemed resigned.
Yes, I know there are people out there who might say "Hey, he SHOULD feel bad for getting in trouble". Yes, I agree to an extent. But my Ryan has *always* bounced back very quickly. He shows remorse, might have a sad/angry/frustrated moment or two, but then he's always back to his cheerful self. He's normally very optimistic, very perserverant, and today...he was not. It was almost as if he'd given up. THAT cemented my decision. I had decided long ago that the moment this stated affecting his self-esteem, we would have to pull him out. I was only keeping him there, on the advice of the psychologist, for the social interaction. But this tipped the scales in the other direction.
What cemented the decision? Two things. First, I get an email from the resource director who stated that it was time for us to review Ryan's notices of concern and decide whether he would be able to continue at StMM. I was told at the last meeting (before Christmas) that if the number of notices didn't diminish, he would not be able to stay. At that point, he'd had about 8 notices in 8 weeks. Right now? We're looking at 8 notices in 6 weeks (two this week alone). Writing on the wall?? So I started thinking what would be better for Ryan...Mom and Dad pulling him out because we feel like it just wasn't the right place for him, or the school deciding he couldn't continue there. So it was playing around in my mind, and knowing that they were going to make the decision tomorrow morning....it was playing around in my mind. Then, I went to pick up Ryan today. Every single day when I pick him up, no matter how bad a day he'd had, he would run down the steps and jump into my arms. Every. Single. Day. Today, he didn't do that. In fact, he came out the door and walked quietly down the steps with his head down. I greeted him as usual and asked him where my hug was...thinking he was just distracted by something. But no...he was sad because he'd gotten in trouble yet again at school and he told me that he would hug me when he felt better. He seemed resigned.
Yes, I know there are people out there who might say "Hey, he SHOULD feel bad for getting in trouble". Yes, I agree to an extent. But my Ryan has *always* bounced back very quickly. He shows remorse, might have a sad/angry/frustrated moment or two, but then he's always back to his cheerful self. He's normally very optimistic, very perserverant, and today...he was not. It was almost as if he'd given up. THAT cemented my decision. I had decided long ago that the moment this stated affecting his self-esteem, we would have to pull him out. I was only keeping him there, on the advice of the psychologist, for the social interaction. But this tipped the scales in the other direction.
So, I notify the school office at 12:15 that I will be withdrawing Ryan from school and tomorrow will be his last day. I spoke to the secretary, who said she'd inform the assistant principal who would call me. I also emailed the resource director and Ryan's teacher at 12:30, with the same information. I was waiting to hear from them before emailing the moms of the kids in his room, to give them a heads up in case there were any questions, etc. It's 10:40 pm and I've not received a single phone call or email from the school, nothing to ask "why?" or to let me know they got the message or to let me know what the procedure is, nothing. HOWEVER, I do know they got the message because I came home from dinner out with the family, to two emails and a phone call from moms in Ryan's room because their kids were upset that Ryan is leaving. So obviously his teacher told the class this afternoon (Ryan only goes in the morning, and I didn't tell him until he came home today that tomorrow will be his last day, so he couldn't have told them).
Ugh.
Ugh.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Aarrgghh.
I'm just so tired of this. Tired. Tired. Tired.
An email from his school, that it's time for us to review his progress and decide whether keeping him at this school for half-days is working for him (actually, is it working for the school). I just shot back a reply that I have nothing to add to what I've already told them or asked from them, I have no questions, so why is it necessary for me to meet with them in order for them to make the decision? Just decide to allow him to stay or decide to kick him out, and let me know. It probably looks to them like I'm trying to be difficult to work with, but these meetings are just too difficult to sit through and I'd just rather not.
I have a call in to the Department of Education to find out exactly what the laws are regarding children of Kdg age. Is he required to be in school at his age? If so, if I pull him out, what do I legally need to do...set up a home-school for the spring? If not, I'll pull him out next week. I just want to get him out of there. Selfish, I know. But I'm so tired.
I'm thinking of pulling him off of this GFCF diet too. I think the whole behavioral change thing was a coincidence. He's even worse now, nearly a week back on the diet (after a single day with dairy added back). His behavior at home has had him in is room most of the afternoon already today.
An email from his school, that it's time for us to review his progress and decide whether keeping him at this school for half-days is working for him (actually, is it working for the school). I just shot back a reply that I have nothing to add to what I've already told them or asked from them, I have no questions, so why is it necessary for me to meet with them in order for them to make the decision? Just decide to allow him to stay or decide to kick him out, and let me know. It probably looks to them like I'm trying to be difficult to work with, but these meetings are just too difficult to sit through and I'd just rather not.
I have a call in to the Department of Education to find out exactly what the laws are regarding children of Kdg age. Is he required to be in school at his age? If so, if I pull him out, what do I legally need to do...set up a home-school for the spring? If not, I'll pull him out next week. I just want to get him out of there. Selfish, I know. But I'm so tired.
I'm thinking of pulling him off of this GFCF diet too. I think the whole behavioral change thing was a coincidence. He's even worse now, nearly a week back on the diet (after a single day with dairy added back). His behavior at home has had him in is room most of the afternoon already today.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
I just set up the initial "intake" appointment for the public school's ECE (Exceptional Child Education) program. These are the folks that will evaluate Ryan for placement in the public school, they are the ones who will determine what (if any) services he will need. There will be a lot of testing and evaluating, including speech and hearing and repeats of some of the psychoeducational stuff he's already had done independently. We will have an answer within 60 school days of our appointment...so by the end of the school year, haha.
Ryan has been really off the wall at school the last two days. I'm not sure what's going on with him, unless this is his body re-ridding itself of dairy. We've been really careful since Friday to keep everything GFCF. If I don't see improvement in the next few days I'm going to start doubting the whole dietary thing.
I'm considering getting a weighted vest for Ryan to wear at school. I may try to make one. I've emailed his OT about it, and maybe they have one he could try. They are very expensive to purchase, like $100, so I don't want to put out that kind of money unless I know it's going to have a positive affect.
Today he had french toast/maple syrup for breakfast, along with some cereal and V8 Fusion juice. Had a Nana's cookie bar for snack at school. Hasn't had lunch yet, but I assume it'll be PB&J.
Ryan has been really off the wall at school the last two days. I'm not sure what's going on with him, unless this is his body re-ridding itself of dairy. We've been really careful since Friday to keep everything GFCF. If I don't see improvement in the next few days I'm going to start doubting the whole dietary thing.
I'm considering getting a weighted vest for Ryan to wear at school. I may try to make one. I've emailed his OT about it, and maybe they have one he could try. They are very expensive to purchase, like $100, so I don't want to put out that kind of money unless I know it's going to have a positive affect.
Today he had french toast/maple syrup for breakfast, along with some cereal and V8 Fusion juice. Had a Nana's cookie bar for snack at school. Hasn't had lunch yet, but I assume it'll be PB&J.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Today Ryan was late to school, as DH let him stay up to watch the end of the Super Bowl...and DH overslept. He had Peanut Butter toast (GFCF bread, obviously) and cereal with blueberry juice for breakfast. Nana's cookiebar for snack at school. Ham slices and mayo on bread for lunch, with fritos and Snapea crisps. Potato chip chicken with sweet potatoes and corn for dinner. GFCF marshmallows for a snack. Meltdown in the afternoon, when I told him for the 3rd time he needed to clean his legos off the table so I could get it set for dinner; he threw the bag of legos at my face from about 2 ft away, so I hauled him up to his room to stay until DH got home, and confiscated the lego set for good. Meltdown at bedtime over something with DH, hitting and kicking DH, and pushing Lily, ending up losing the opportunity to feed his fish (Lily did it) and having to go right to bed without playtime. He was very sad about his behavior afterwards. Green card at school, but with extra warnings for being very unfocused and ignoring intructions.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Ryan woke up at 8:00. They all had just cereal for breakfast, with juice. Peanut butter on apple rice cakes for snack. PB&J for lunch, with fritos. Hot dog with DH for late snack. Chili with quinoa pasta and fritos for dinner. Popcorn for late snack.
Ryan had basketball practice/game in the afternoon. Had a meltdown when DH wouldn't play Wii with him when he wanted to. Had an OK afternoon, and watched the Superbowl with DH tonight.
Ryan had basketball practice/game in the afternoon. Had a meltdown when DH wouldn't play Wii with him when he wanted to. Had an OK afternoon, and watched the Superbowl with DH tonight.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Aha! Dairy is a problem. Ryan was dairy-free for nearly 4 weeks. Wednesday I allowed him to have chocolate milk after school, and he had cheesy doritos for a snack after Tae Kwon Do. We didn't really notice anything different in his behavior. Yesterday he spent the morning at his grandma's, and I told her that Hershey's and Reese's were safe for him to eat (they are gluten free) because she keeps that stuff around and Ryan's been missing it. He spent all day there, coming home just before I had to take him to OT. He tried to get me to let him stay at home saying that he didn't feel good (I assumed he just wanted to play longer). But I loaded them all in the car for the 20 minute drive, Ryan was fine. But when we got there and parked, and I tired to get him out of the car, he started screaming at me that he didn't want to go it, that he didn't feel good, and then he threw up all over the back seat. It was all chocolate. Afterwards he told me that he'd eaten probably 20 Hershey's kisses for snack before he came home. Guess it's time for a talk with his grandma about MODERATION!!
Anyway, I got him home and cleaned up and he said he wanted to crawl into bed, so I snuggled with him in my bed and let him watch TV, which he did from about 6:00 until 8:30. During that time he got more and more "antsy"...he just could NOT stop moving around. Finally I sent him to his bed, and I laid down with him for about 20 minutes until I couldn't stand the movement any longer. This morning he had a glass of milk. All day he's been "off". I've seen more sensory-seeking and aggression from him that I've seen in the past 3 weeks combined. It's just been crazy for him! So we decided to go back to the dairy-free diet.
In a month, we'll do a gluten challenge, to see of it has an affect.
At least we know!!
Anyway, I got him home and cleaned up and he said he wanted to crawl into bed, so I snuggled with him in my bed and let him watch TV, which he did from about 6:00 until 8:30. During that time he got more and more "antsy"...he just could NOT stop moving around. Finally I sent him to his bed, and I laid down with him for about 20 minutes until I couldn't stand the movement any longer. This morning he had a glass of milk. All day he's been "off". I've seen more sensory-seeking and aggression from him that I've seen in the past 3 weeks combined. It's just been crazy for him! So we decided to go back to the dairy-free diet.
In a month, we'll do a gluten challenge, to see of it has an affect.
At least we know!!
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