Relief

I think Ryan is in the right school, with the right teacher and the right assistance. FINALLY. I felt such relief after we had our assessment report meeting today. Right off the bat I could tell that things were different here because they referred to Ryan as very bright, happy, confident and eager to learn. At his school last year, he was referred to as "impulsive, aggressive, defiant, inattentive, but yes, he's very smart.".

First, his teacher. Mrs H is kind, calm, *compassionate* and as sweet as can be. She doesn't see him as a problem at all. And instead of being befuddled by his little quirks, she saw right through to the reasons why he does/says/acts as he does. Right away today she saw that he hadn't finished his work along with the other kids, but instead of reminding him over and over to finish up, she asked him if he needed more time, she saw that he was distraught over not getting the picture colored and let him know that the coloring wasn't important at all if it wasn't his "thing" (it was a writing exercise). She said she gave him a choice to take the time he needed to finish it if he wanted to (she recognizes that he has some perfectionist qualities and also that he might need to sense of accomplishment from completing it to his own satisfaction) or not worrying about the coloring part and moving on with the rest of the class. This is on day 3! She could only sit in the meeting for about half the time, but she made sure that I knew she would keep in close contact with me and that I was not to worry about Ryan *at all*.

Second, the first thing the school counselor said to me when we sat down (and again as we were leaving) was how glad they were to have Ryan at this school. She knows him on sight, and was telling me a couple of things about how he was getting along with certain kids during carpool the last couple of days. She (and everyone else at the table) was amazed at how well he has acclimated in just the 3 days he has been there.

Third, his report. No speech, hearing or language problems at all (not even pragmatics). No big OT issues, aside from fine motor delay which we were already aware of. They do not believe that he has ADHD, although he does have some issues with impulsiveness and some issues with seeming inattentiveness or lack of focus...but they think that has to do with his fine motor delay (more on that later) and this -----> Their consensus is that his weak spot is processing speed, which means that it takes him longer for paper-and-pencil tasks. This can be so frustrating for a very bright child, not being able to "spit out" the information that he KNOWS in the same amount of time that other kids are able to. This, combined with his fine motor problems...namely, not able to form letters and numbers easily...makes doing writing tasks pretty difficult and not at all fun for him, so it's likely that he loses focus because it's too hard. He does also have some social "delays", mostly in the areas of respecting personal space and keeping his hands to himself.

The plan...he will in fact have an IEP. I honestly didn't think that he would qualify for anything, but I am thrilled that he does. He's not eligible under the Autism heading (which is what his old school was SURE he would receive services for)...in fact, none of these folks think Ryan has Asperger's at all. Sure he's a bit quirky in an area or two that might be common in Asperger's kids, but in the biggest areas, he doesn't fit at all. As an aside, I am almost sure that the rating scales his old school filled out were based on their assumption that he did have Asperger's...they had things on there that I have never ever seen in Ryan, such as a "very evident" monotone speaking voice and "rarely" making eye contact. Not *my* Ryan! Anyway, they have him eligible under "Developmental Delay - social-emotional development". They said that "developmental delay" is kind of a catch-all category for kids up to age 9, for a variety of delays that they can work on and catch up to their peers eventually.

So what Ryan will receive is one hour every day, time with an ECE teacher. She will spend 30 minutes with him in his classroom, and then pull him out for 30 minutes when they will work on handwriting and social skills. They also have a variety of "accommodations" for him in the classroom, basically check lists, prompts and cues, reinforcing behaviors and shortening assignments/copying from the board, etc.

I felt absolutely no defensiveness or negativity at this meeting at all. Everyone there was interested in making sure that I was on board with this before proceeding. I didn't come away from this feeling like there was something wrong with Ryan, or that he was a problem for them. I felt encouraged and like they were going to take such good care of him and that they were personally invested in making sure he is successful.

What a relief.