There is hope!

Ryan's OT evaluation was this morning. It was *very* eye-opening. His therapist kept up a running commentary as she had him doing certain tasks, letting me know what everything "meant". The verdict is that he definitely has sensory problems that are holding him back and causing the behavioral problems. He still has a couple of reflexes that should have been gone shortly after birth. He has trouble processing loud sounds and bright lights and background sensory stimulation. He has some bilateral coordination and motor planning delays. Most of these things aren't so delayed that they are obvious to untrained observers, but they can be frustrating enough to him that he acts out when he doesn't "get it". He has upper trunk weakness that makes it difficult for him to hold a pencil correctly...it's mostly correct, but he hyperextends his pointer finger and wraps his thumb around which apparently shows shoulder/chest weakness. And it will make it difficult for him to write for any length of time. We did confirm that he is pretty much unable to control the impulse to bump and push and pull people (and things!). Because of the sensory issue, his body seems to need that stimulation to calm itself down. It's a need for "heavy muscle work", and it can be helped out by giving him acceptable heavy motor work to do occasionally, as well as teaching him ways to cope with that feeling/impulse cognitively. So the plan for right now is to ask his teacher to find some heavy motor work that he can do at points during the day, whether it's carrying a stack of books down the hallway or pulling a boxful of toys across the room, and making sure that he's working some muscles during recess/outdoor playtime. If he gets that stimulation in these acceptable ways, then he's likely to be less apt to hit someone or be a human bowling ball when walking down the hallway. This isn't treating him "special", it's helping him to learn ways to help himself. His therapist is going to score all of the evaluation components and come up with a definite treatment plan, and in a couple of weeks we'll begin sessions with her once a week for awhile. The evaluation was 2 hours long, and she really worked his mind...it's mental work to try to coordinate motor skills...I could see him trying to process it all. He was very tired when I took him to school at 10:30, and I almost didn't take him in. He started crying in the car saying he was too tired and didn't have any energy...this from a kid who rarely cries except from temper...but I talked him in to going inside to see if they would let him have his snack. The office assistant was fabulous with him, getting him to sign in and letting him know that they would find a drink to go with his pretzels, if his class had already had snack time. He seemed really pale but he walked with her willingly as she took him on a "secret shortcut" to his room.

How am I feeling with all this? Very mixed emotions. I am feeling very hopeful, because these are things that we can really work on, they are tangible skills that we can check from time to time. And I'm glad that we're doing this in Kdg, where one big purpose of school is to learn social skills and how to work on learning. So he's not going to be "behind" or working extra hard to catch up. I'm also feeling a bit guilty that I didn't go this route before. It could have really changed the dynamic of our relationship if I hadn't worked so hard and gotten so frustrated trying to change his behavior. Yes, the behavior had/has to cease, but knowing that it is as much a physiological issue as it is a cognitive one has already changed the way I look at him...in just a couple of hours time! For awhile I was so sure he was just being defiant. I mean, he's so smart about so many things, why could he not understand simple social rules other than because he didn't want to? Oh, so wrong. I'm also overwhelmed. I have so much to think about and process with this myself, books to read, my own behaviors to change, getting the word out to the people that matter (husband, grandparents, teachers, psych). I just feel like my head is spinning. Which isn't surprising since his therapist asked me a few simple questions and she (and I) are pretty sure I have sensory processing issues too....but have learned to cope with them in my 39+ years. So I have my own enlightenment to deal with!

But mostly I'm hopeful. Very hopeful.